How To Catch a Hick By Double D
Assuming there is a hick in your area, (there usually is) follow these simple instrutions for each method, and you will probably catch the guy.
The Hole Digging Way
Step 1: Dig a huge hole somewhere in the middle of nowhere. Make sure it is at least 8'6" deep.
Step 2: Make a trail of beer running from a hick hangout near the hole, to the hole. Then stick a whole case of beer at the bottom, when the hick reaches to get it, run up behind him, then kick him in the hole. Works every time.
The Build-a-Blind Way
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Step 1: This is taking a page from deer hunting hicks everywhere. Build (or steal) a blind. Place it near a favourite hick hangout, then cover it with plaid.
Step 2: Shake, then open beer cans, or belch loudly to attract some hicks. When one comes near shoot him with a tranquilizer gun. Voila, you have your Hick.
The Old Fashioned Way
Step 1: Get a big, heavy piece of wood. Walk up to hick, then hit the hick hard on back of the head. Grab the fallen hick by the ankle and drag him home. A good example of how a tried and true formula works every time.
